Just call me the paparazzi

Isn't this just the quintessential German guy? This is what I'm sure many of you out there envision when I say "there was a German guy walking down the street". He's sporting the European look, complete with hat. Walking down the street with purpose and you just can't help but wonder where he's going?

He doesn't have a basket, so he can't be going to the market, I'm sure his little quintessential German wife has already done that at 8AM this morning! {I was busy getting back from the bus stop and drinking my 2nd cup of coffee in my sweats and unwashed hair at that time and wasn't able to get a photo of her, oh well. There's always tomorrow morning!}

My bet is, since it was 2 in the afternoon, he was going to meet his little old German men friends at the pub for some beer and eine swank broten (a roll with pork product on it). I guess I could have acted more like the real paparazzi and followed him to his destination, but I'm thinking he would have noticed me then. Just thinking it could be possible he'd notice some weird American taking pictures of him and following him around. I don't know if that would have been threatening enough to him to call the police or to just mumble "stupid American" and keep going. All I'm saying is I didn't really feel the need to find out his reaction to me, so I left it at 2 pictures and a never answered question of his destination.

Well, just in case you're wondering...this isn't the normal German old man you see. The normal German old man we see in our village is usually topless in George Micheal's wham style shorts, with nurse type shoes and socks pulled all the way up. Topping off the village look, would be the wild grey (on the longer side) hair that looks like it never has gotten brushed, and a lovely (way past) 5 o'clock shadow. I just can't bring myself to post a picture of that. Although with the weather change, I'm wondering if they will break out the 80's track suits here?

Do the dogs speak English AND German?

So my neighbor has a dog (I KNOW! It's amazing!) and every time it's out it comes running to see us at their gate.

Did I mention that we left our dog and cat with my mom & dad in California [we still don't know if we'll actually get them back, since we have quoted my mother as saying..."when you come back and get a new dog"...really? I thought we owned a dog!? ). Well because we are emotionally starved for the kind of attention only pets can give you, we all oogle and ahh over this dog.

Their kids probably look out the window and say (little kid speaking in German) "mama, those silly Americans are out petting our dog again!". German mama answers back, "Don't go outside honey, you'll only encourage them!".

Well the big question I have today is . . .[ready for it?]. . . what language should I talk to the dog in?

At 1st my spiel just came gushing out in English "OH a dog! Look kids a dog! Hi puppy! Hi sweetie! Oh your so cute! We have a dog in California now, we miss her so much! Oh your so happy!" {did you say it with that baby talk sound? You really gotta go back and repeat it like you're talking to a baby to get the full effect.}

But then I remembered I'm in Germany and the dog might not understand what I'm saying. So now I try hard to talk to it in German. "Hallo hund! Ist gut? Ja, ist gut hund!" and then I can't say anymore because that is the limit to my German dog talking to skills. I'm sure the dog is like wow, she's talking to me, awesome, she must be from here!

So now I'm just so confused...do the dogs I stop to lavish attention on whether or not their owners want me to, do they understand what I'm trying to say? I think I have to keep working on my German. After all, I would hate to embarrass myself!!

What to get, what to get?

I tell you, I have a new respect for all people who live in a different country! Everything is harder when you don't speak much of the language (and all u "ur in the USA, speak English" people out there take note), haven't grown up here, and are generally unsure of even the simplest systems.

No matter how motivated you are, it's impossible to start speaking a language in a matter of months, especially when you still have your life responsibilities to continue to do! I'm fairly language able, since I learned French (reading & writing it mostly) in grammar school, I "get" that language is arbitrary. Basically it's a tree cause someone said it was, same reason it's an arbor in other places. I know you are suppose to not translate things back into your own language but to just embrace them for what they are. (I embrace that there is a stau somewhere according to the radio, but I really need to know if it's near me or not...please say an area that I can "embrace"!!!! I don't have time to get stuck in a traffic accident, where is it? Say it again, more slowly please? Where is that? Where is that? Oh, that's right it's right up.....here :( ). But no matter how much you are immersed into a language, you can't skip the 2 year old level. Which is exactly where I'm at right now, and I even get the same kind of "oh isn't that precious" looks and comments!! That's why I am extremely quiet in public, I don't want to draw attention to myself with a neon flashing sign that says "AMERICAN". This is much harder than it looks, since I love to talk to myself (I'm the best listener i know after all!) I also find trying to communicate so hard to concentrate on, I would rather stay silent! So next time some one's walking around speaking a different language, cut them some slack!! It's exhausting being so quiet in public! And even more exhausting trying to follow a conversation!

Then we have all the systems that you generally just "know" by the time your an adult (in your home country). Like taking the bus. I know that in America, you wait at the bus stop, the bus may or may not come around the time it says, throw some change in the glass jar (no change given), and when you see the area you want to stop in ring the bell, stops are so close together you won't go too far past your intended destination. Well here, who knows?!? I was able to figure out what time I thought the bus might come by based on the schedule hanging there. But since the time said 15:07, did that mean 3:05-3:10? How much was it going to cost? Would I have exact change or would I have to pay more and write it off as a learning experience? How would I know how to stop? When do I press the button? As soon as we get into our village? The bus stop by our house is on the other side of the street, would they stop? Even everyday events are laced with a certain amount of stress. Don't get me started on driving! No wonder all those immigrants where I'm from walk!!!!

So now I finally get to what the post was suppose to be all about to begin with! It's Corn Niblet's Birthday party soon, and I have been trying to find presents. My children don't watch TV, or live in this century evidently, so they have absolutely NO idea what they want for their birthdays, Christmas, any gift getting event! I was able to suggest roller skates, since her older sister has a pair. But now....I'm screwed!

I was at the BX, so I took a look where skates might be..."oh look, 4 pairs of the same boy's skate in adjustable size 6-10" well that won't do.

So then I went out on the economy to the nearest sports store..."yes we have only 4 in row (hear as inline skates), yes we have her size and they cost 99,95 Euro" (hear that as like $150ish!!!), thanks, but no thanks! The J man would KILL me!

Then I tried ebay...they wouldn't let me buy any, but I couldn't understand why (not being able to read German and all, I did get please, no, or can't or some negative word like that). I was just about ready to spend my day off work going from 1 village to the next looking for skates, when an ebay seller answered my size question about his skates, and low and behold I was able to purchase them! He must have hit some magic i will sell to her button! (Now I'm wondering if they are actually gonna get sent to my German address, or if the new tenants back in the US are gonna get some new skates!?)

You just take for granted that you know where to go to buy the things you want! That's an important part of life I tell you!

Now, if I can just get the dollar to go up so my euro purchases don't put us in the poor house!!!! Buy those stocks and bonds people.....I got a family to feed and clothe!!!!

For whom the bell tolls...no really....whom?

This is the kirsche (church) that causes great joy and grief in my life. It is to the left of us, only 2 houses up the hill.

Picture if you will, a sweet little German neighborhood (like mine of course!) with German people walking up and down the hill to the market and the bakery each morning and afternoon. Birds are constantly singing here, and on all but the really chilly days I can be found with my front window wide open to allow me to view the whole scene. Almost every day I can hear the church bells tolling throughout my house.

Sometimes it's almost magical.

Most of the time it is a scene strait out of the movies. Especially around 4 or 5pm. Most evenings at this time I can be found futzing around the kitchen getting dinner started. The kitchen window is open, people seem to be milling about on all kinds of errands (this isn't a normal dinner time here, most likely people are walking home from kaffee und kuchen at a friend's house instead. They eat dinner closer to 7 or 8pm) and music is usually playing probably a little too loud at my house. Then the Church bells start to toll the hours. I really haven't been able to discern a pattern to their ringing, it's not like a little song and then bells strike to count the hour. These are like 4-6 bells are being pulled on by different people at different intervals.

-dong-dang-bing-dong-ding-bong-dong-dang-dong-bong-bong-dong-dang-bong-ding----and on and on and on. I'm not kidding, sometimes for longer than 5 minutes!

It's story book romantic, sometimes I just lean out my window and look at the sights and listen to them. A part of me just can't believe I'm standing in a kitchen in Germany. At that moment, everything really does feel right with my life.

Suddenly it's Sunday morning. I'm feeling blurry and slightly irritated. Who is making that sound? WTH! ggeeezzz, it's the stupid bells, maybe if I ignore them I won't wake up. But they keep going! And going! AND GOING!

If I (and everyone else in my house) happen to be so tired that I don't actually break thru the coherency veil covering your dreams, not more than 30 minutes later the entire scene will present itself again. This time I am NEVER lucky enough to be able to sleep through it. Even if I could, this is the point that I will always hear the pitter patter of feet on the wood floors, (then they stop and stare at you, then they go in the other child's room, then they come back to your doorway, and on and on until someone gets out of bed!). For those of you keeping track it is now 8:00am.

At 8:15 the whole thing happens again, sometimes I haven't even had my 1st cup of espresso yet "Shut the heck up, it's too early on a weekend", then at 8:30..."Really? I'm outta bed already!"...then 8:45..."I wonder if insulation can be cut to fit into the windows?". Around 8:50ish, this is the crescendo, the bells become possessed. I believe they ring continuously until 9am at this point. This is when I'm saying some really not so nice stuff in my head. The bells are ringing, the J man is shouting about how we'll be late for a 10:30 service less than 5 minutes from our house, the girls are hard at work on their own agenda which they keep giving me blow by blows of and requesting help (or help in the future with what they plan to do) or trying to plan the day's events.

Take a guess what time the church service starts? Now, you must trust me when I tell you this...there is nothing magical about those moments!

How to Germany - Chapter One

Here are excerpts from my new book, How to Germany (coming never to a store near you).

How to use transformers:

Step 1: Plug the transformer into the wall. Plug your American (Chinese) product into the transformer, try to turn product on. Listen for the loud pop of the transformer's fuse blowing. Say a few choice words. Get the next higher level transformer out, plug that into the wall. Plug your item of choice into this transformer, and swear when you hear the loud pop. Drag your product over to the largest transformer, unplug your tv and dvd player from it, plug in your product. Turn it on, use it, then unplug it and put it away, never to be seen again.

Step 2: Go to BX to get new fuses for the other transformers, note that they have not had any of those fuses since 1959 and they don't know if they will ever order any again "whadda ya gonna do about it?".

Step 3: Go to Pratiker (German Lowes) and spend 30 minutes "reading" the labels before figureing out the 2 fuses you want are the empty spaces on the shelf. Guten Tag to you too, yeah yeah.

Step 4: Go to Toom (German Home Depot) and find the same 2 empty spaces on the wall. Ask in your broken pre-K german/english for them at the Information desk. Completely understand the sarcasm (in his almost perfect english he uses, after telling you that he speaks "a little" english) when the guy tells you that those are always out of stock 10 minutes after they get some in. Yeah, Guten freakin' tag to you too.

Step 5: Go home. Roll up the cords on the, now useless, 2 transformers and put them away. Wait 2 months, and then repeat steps 2-4 because you REALLY need to use your American (Chinese) product.

Step 6: Go to KiK, Penny Markt, SMC, Edeka or a flea market and buy a European (European) product to replace your American (Chinese) product.

You have now completed the steps of using a transfomer. Next time remember to save yourself the hassle and leave ANYTHING with a plug in the States, and just by new/used ones when you get here.

Writer/Director/Producer/Camera man

My life is a movie. The problem is that it only plays in MY head so I'm the only one who gets to see it! When we visit someplace, I can almost write the entire script by the time we get there.
We are driving to some unknown town, with little or no knowledge of what awaits us there. With a little hard work, we find our way to an interesting building, then wander down an alley to a beautiful marketplace. As the background music is playing, we laugh together, break into a skip, hold hands as we eat our ice cream and wonder at how much we love each other as a family.
You would really like my movies. I try my best to document them with a camera, and an occasional video moment, but the music and camera coverage doesn't translate into reality. (you may/may not know my favorite saying "music is the background to our lives")
Another thing that doesn't translate into reality is my family. They just don't participate in my perfect movie moment family. Someone is always upset, we're starving because we don't have any cash, the J man is upset because we don't know where we're going and he feels lost, the kids always want to wonder what we're doing next (the next minute, hour, day, week, or my very favorite "someday can we..."!) nobody can just stop and enjoy the moment for what it is...a magical moment in our ever so fleeting lives.
I really missed my calling, I should have moved down to LA and gotten into the movie business. Well, I guess there's always a [fat] chance [in hell]!

BBBEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP

we are experiencing a small technical problem. The chick who writes this has technically gone insane. We are assured that this is a temporary problem, and hope to resolve it soon. You will be returned to your regularly scheduled programing as soon as possible! [thanks for waiting]

I need my fix, now!

Saturday, was such a nice day. We went to Sweet Pea's soccer game, which was really good. They are doing such a good job for only having four practices (if you totally ignore the fact that there is no one for the forwards to pass to because all the forwards are right next to the ball). Then we went to a big bazaar here. Now this was as nice as it can be with the J man; translate to we walked around and looked at everything at a fairly rapid pace and the kids were allowed to get a cheese fries (his squad's fundrasier booth), later a hot dog, and later a bag of popcorn. But I knew I was volunteering there on Sunday and so I was able to view it as a "pre-shop" moment! Stopping at the grocery store before we came home, we also had time to trim the hedge outside. Although I'm still having trouble understanding how me asking the J man to get the ladder out for me translating into me making him trim the hedge? Honestly, if I'm gonna make someone do something I have way more fun and effective ways of making that happen!

Anyway, I digress. The point of this whole story comes next. I came back into the house and sat down at the computer to get my daily fix. I sign on to FB and they put up a message that my account has been DISABLED! WHAT?!? I have friends to "talk to", I have to have my social outlet, they can't do this to me! How am I suppose to feel like I have any friends??? I mean really, don't they know who I am!?!!?!? [ok, maybe I'm getting a little carried away now, but seriously how can they do this to me?]

They said:

You have to use your real name: Last time I checked all 3 names listed are on my passport, licenses, and ss card [with the exception of using my nickname instead of my full name, but their notes say that is allowed].

You can be disabled from excessive use: I know the J man thinks I'm on fb all the time, but realistically I do have a life, children, responsibilities. I'm pretty sure what I do doesn't qualify for excessive use!

So, I have established that I am not a fake account, and that I am not active on fb 24/7. I'm thinking this must be some kind of mistake from the Germany IP and the information I have listed? I did verify with a cell phone, they texted me a code, and then I went into the account and took the cell # out because I pay INTERNATIONAL charges for any text from them!!!

Unless I've been scammed, I'm pretty sure fb thought I was a german freak slowly gathering a strange combination of US friends! So if anyone I know gets contacted by fb make sure you tell them I am completely normal...no really, I am!

I'm really hoping fb fixes this quick, {I sent them an email with the information they asked} I'm starting to get DT's from lack of cyber social moments!

EIS!

WE LOVE EIS! Not everyone loves ice cream in this house. I can't always eat it, for complete unspeakable reasons! Sweet Pea doesn't really like it, she would rather have a slushi. Corn Niblet loves any kinda of junk food so it's hard to take her opinion that seriously. The J man can take it or leave it, and I mean literally leave it in the freezer for weeks on end and then have the audacity to ask where it is when he finally decides he wants some! Really? That had been calling my name consistently for a couple days so I just went ahead and ate it all to shut it up (I had to pay the price, but it's worth it!)! Why does this shock him after 12 years? Anyway, by that time it would have been freezer burnt and inedible so I actually did him a favor by not letting food go to waste.

Well here we all LOVE it! Except for the J man, but he's always in a category all by himself (I believe some people call it solitary confinement, but we just call it his "special time"!). I don't even get chocolate, I can't get past Mango! I try what everyone else gets and then I get Mango. I will move on to other flavors eventually because we have been places that [gasp!] don't have mango and I have been forced to get melon or banan and even schokolade, but I don't feel completely satisfied unless I get mango.

Anyway, I got side tracked on my flavor routine. ...it seems that German eis is a mixture of American style ice cream and Italian Gellato. It could be pureed kitty litter for all I care, it's that good. The J man doesn't think so, he likes the American milky, creamy ice cream. But using less milk and more whatever they use, allows me to pretty much eat as much of the stuff as I want. And the flavors are incredible. It taste like they've blended up a mango (melon, banan, whatever) and put it on a cone!

I think we've made it our unspoken goal (that "we" would be the girls & I obviously) to go to every single Eis place in a 50 mile radius! Thank goodness you can get a small cone (klein kegel) for -,60 euro because at many places I've been scrounging in the bottom of my purse for enough money to get some! [it's that cash issue that I've yet to really talk about, figure out, or fix. Small small detail the whole having money for things!]

The price for beauty

Germany is really green, lush and beautiful. At least the parts we've been in so far, which is a fair amount considering all the time we spend lost in the car! They have really done a great job of keeping growth in cities and villages, and then all the space in between is farm land and natural beauty. I'm sure I will be posting a million scenery pictures, because it's all breath taking! I will keep the pictures, I have hastily shot out of the car window, to myself though. [That is unless u all rise up in alarm at the thought and bombard me with desperate pleas to share my stunning concept pictures with you.]

There are just a few problems with being surrounded by all this beautiful nature. The 1st and foremost is that all this greenery needs a certain something to stay green and lush. Water. And lots of it. So, it rains here, alot. If you wake up one day and it's not raining, it's threatening to rain. If it's not threatening to rain when you get up it's because a) it has been raining the entire night or b) it will threaten to and/or start to rain later that day [after you have been lulled into a false sense of security and have your flip flops, jeans and t on with perfect hair and no umbrella to be seen!]. I understand the whole concept of rain = green, but can't Germany take a lesson from Hawaii? Hawaii has it right, it rains every day but only for 10min-30minutes a day. AND the rain is a nice body temperature, so you barely even notice as you go about your business in your shorts and tank. Here the rain comes down strait from the north pole. It pricks your skin like little tiny tattoo needles, and gives a numbness to any exposed skin that is similar to when a limb falls asleep.

The 2nd problem with the beautiful nature is all of God's precious little creatures (read that as bugs, snakes, mice, mosquitoes, and things you've never even seen before). I mean really, what is the point of making a mosquito? To pass on diseases? Couldn't we just do without them and teach bats to eat flowers? There's all this beautiful scenery, and I could just imagine running through the field of flowers and climbing over the boulders, the sun shining on us all as we laugh together as a family and wonder in amazement over the beauty surrounding us.

Then I cut to a more realistic scene; we walk thru the flowers until Corn Niblet gets stung by a bee all over the place and she's afraid to move, so the J man has to carry her, as she continues to cry- then Sweet Pea looks down just as a mouse runs by her and jumps onto my back for the rest of the trip across the field, screaming randomly to watch out- and as we put them on the boulder the J man reaches into a crack and gets bit by a snake - as the kids are crying and screaming we sit on the rock sweating from the heat of the sun with no water in sight wondering if the GPS will stay on long enuf to point us to the nearest hospital for a snake bite kit, as I scratch the 200 mosquito bites I have acquired in the last hour! That is the real type of adventures we have!

I LOVE nature, but I love a sterilized version of it better!

So no matter when you come to visit us [and I'm counting on the fact you WILL come to visit us! Or I will start a daily email and phone campaign to motivate you, don't think I won't!] make sure you bring a raincoat, umbrella or both. You can also borrow mine for a small fee.

Banking the easy way...err German way!

So here's a little ditty for you. You have to move to Germany for your job, you work in a little American type city, that includes a bank for your convenience. You open an account at this "so convenient" bank, and they manage to slip in that there is a cost for every German transfer you do. You're new here, you really have no idea what they're talking about so you shake your head and say "yes, fine, fine where do I sign? It's past my nap time."

Cut to a few weeks later; you have now had to set up German transfers for your rent and your bills. See the Germans have never done checks like we do, they fill out a form with the vendor's banking information on it and how much/how often you want to pay them and turn it in to their bank. Basically, they have been doing automatic payments for years and years here...we are just catching up now. But suddenly you say, wait a minute I have to pay over a dollar for each one of these every time it gets paid. "well shoot, that kinda sucks".

Cut to a week later; you have gone into McDonalds of all places and have been told that they don't take a visa card, only an EC card. This is a European Card, it's basically a check card with a strip that says "I'm from here"! You go to your bank and they say, "no we don't issue EC cards". I think really? Have you been anywhere around here?

Cut to a few weeks later; you now realize that every time you take euro out of the ATM you get charged a fee for turning your "dollars" into "euros". Wait a minute...doesn't that just involve reaching into another drawer for them? This bank is in Germany after all, I think they need to check their address! Can't you just pay him in euros then? Guess what they conveniently said?

Cut to a week later; you get your regular credit card and realize you have just been charge a "service fee" of $125 for using it in Europe! Oh crap, guess we aren't using a credit card here!

Cut to a few weeks later; you get your statement and notice that every time you use your check card the bank adds an overseas service charge to it. Really, did the mail cost more from the store up the street? Does the bank realize that they are in Europe? I should charge them a service fee for being so darned irritating! They really suck!

I think this convenient bank is conveniently costing me a fortune to use! You know the saying...when in Rome...I wonder how convenient the bank up the street from my house is? I'll let you know what the German bank tells me!

I would like a side of i told u so please

This has nothing to do with Germany. WHY WHY WHY did NO ONE let on how incredibly hard it is to be a grown up? I mean it's hard. It's not fun most of the time. I just don't get how come no one told me about this? WWWWHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEE??

[let me pause a moment here to point out that this is really just a rhetorical question. I really don't wanna read a bunch of "I told u so" comments here. I will completely ignore them JUST like I did your whole "life is hard whaa whaa whaa" things u said years ago]

I want to go back to how it was before, when I just did what I wanted to do and other people picked up the slack for me [btw, thanks mom]. It was like magic! I ate food and it got replaced [thanks mom], I wore clothes and they got hung up clean again [thanks mom], if I wanted a milkshake for dinner I could go get one and I didn't have to serve up a pyramid meal on a kitchen table [well this one's only a thanks for all the healthy food mom]...the list goes on!

Man the window of total self absorption is so small you almost miss it! It seems like it was only a few moment that I was old enough to do what I wanted but still had almost no responsibility to be burdened with. The really unfortunate part is, you don't really think ur selfish and unburdened! You go about that small window of opportunity utterly amazed at how you can be expected to get it all done. I mean really I thought that I balanced ALL my responsibility with such great ease! After all, I worked, most the time I even had a waitress job at nights and on the weekends (although I really only viewed that as a way to get paid while I socialized into the wee hours of each night). I went to school, paid my 2 bills in a timely manner, I even did do my own laundry when I moved out! It was all so burdensome at the time, if I only knew what was to come!

I really need to convince the J man to get me a few additional items to align my life with the way I thought it would be. I mean all I really need is to hire a nanny, a cook, a gardener, and a maid. I mean really, what's all his bichen about?

White Coat and Name Tag

Well today is the day. I start a job today. I know what ur thinking...Dr, DDS, Pharmacist. Yyyeeeeaaanope, maybe in some crazy alternate universe where creativity doesn't exists! But really, who would have thought that the college educated, highly motivated girl who could picture herself running an extremely successful advertising agency, has now turned into the the dumpy weird lady who takes your film at the local drugstore photo department? I'm sure my parents are so proud! Yup, that's right I am one step above "would you like fries with that"!

I'm sure this is gonna make all the difference in the world; we will suddenly be swimming in money because I now have a part time minimum wage job. Spouse will hear the angels singing, and all will be right in the universe!

When I realized that I was born to be in advertising, I was just starting out (read as: not married, no kids, totally and completely self absorbed) then life hit me over the head with a 2 x 4! It turns out that:

...deadline issues are timed perfectly to correspond to dinner time issues, [Can someone please set the table, what r we having for dinner, eewww yuucckkkyyyyy, she's looking at me, stop looking at me, where is ur daddy?, you set the table, but u said I could set the table, crying, screaming, would someone set the table please? crying, screaming, where's ur daddy?, that's it everyone in their room!]

10 hour days interfere with breast feeding, [no description here, thank goodness that's over!]

and who knew that it reflects badly on you when you have to stay home from work with your sick kids from October through February?!? [I'm embarrassed to tell u this, but my other kid is sick, no I only have 2 but they've each had 4 illnesses this winter, I know it's a Monday again and it looks suspicious but I'd be happy to bring them in with me fever and all!]

I haven't even added in the pleasures of being associated with the military -- moving every 3 years, being a single parent 8 mos. out of every other year, and having no support system within a 2,000 mile radius! Who knows all this before you have kids? Heck, who knows all this when you get married, or go to college, or make any crucial life decision?????

It's OK, this job will give me something to do, and will help me meet people. (My friend whoring idea doesn't' always work, I think a lot of people here might have come to the conclusion that I'm crazy? Just because I follow them around and interject on their conversations in public places...I mean jeez it's a [opps, I mean, we represent a] free country people!) Since I have often worked as a waitress in addition to a real job, I know all about being in customer service. I'm actually counting on this job to give me a plethora of material for my blog. Really, just think about it, there are so many [more] crazy people out there that are just dying to bring their film in to be developed. I mean really, how many people have realized how easy and convenient it is to use a digital camera? Not many I'm bettin'!

Dude, hand me the binoculars and get ready to run

I'm sitting at my computer, blindly shoving iced animal crackers into my mouth and drinking my 3rd cup of espresso, when I hear the school bell clear as day. I'm thinking that "I just can't get a handle on why that bell rings all the time at a Kindergarten", but as I'm imagining the little German kids gathering their books to change classes, I notice the van across the street!

OK, I first came across this van when we had just moved in. I was upstairs in my room spinning in circles and falling on my bed laughing with dizziness, when I heard the screech of tires and a long buzzing sound. My windows were wide open and this van had turned the corner, slammed it in park, rang a loud school buzzer, flipped open the side of her van and waited. It sat there for a good couple minutes than slammed the side of the van down and sped off down the one way street. I'm pretty sure it's a bakery on wheels. A bread van of sorts, and loving doughy delights more than the average person I was ecstatic! You mean I don't have to even leave my house to get bread here!!! Dang that will be handy when it's 20 degrees in October!!! I wonder if I can look up how to say "please deliver this directly to my door when it's snowing" in German?

But then for days afterwards I stalked the window watching for the van, it was always a no show.

This elusive van seems to show up randomly (or my children induced A.D.D. doesn't allow me the attention span to discern a pattern) and the 2 other times I have been lucky enough to see it, there hasn't been a euro anywhere in sight at my house or on my person.

(That's another subject for a later time....how can I be expected to have cash on me at all times here? It's maddening, take my card, take it...there's $ in my account darn it, swipe the stupid thing already!)

But today, during my breakfast of champions, I actually saw it! Being the trained professional that I am, I swiftly grabbed my camera to document this momentous occasion (read as..."see I told u there was some kind of van that comes, see look I have proof" husband responds "whatever") and then start madly rushing for my purse to grab some euro. Finally able to dump out the stupid 1 & 2 euro coins that are so popular around here...which I might add weigh about 15 pounds in your wallet and are impossible to get out with any skill at all...go running out the door in my sweats and flannel shirt. I reach the front of my house just in time to hear the flap swing shut and the obviously electric van speed away at break neck speeds down our incredibly narrow one way street. Dang it! What's the German word for "wait! I don't know what you're selling, or if I want any, or if I even have enuf money to buy anything, but WAIT!!"?

Today's Friday right? I'm gonna have to remember Friday around 9am. That's easy enuf. So I have to wrap it up and clean upstairs, sew the other half of my living room drapes today, fix a flyer and email it, pick up the kids, and I'm suppose to remember something...what is it, oh look the sun's coming out, what's for dinner?

France...will never be the same!

OK, well I might have over exaggerated just a little. I doubt that my friend Laura and I are front page news there, or left any large impression on anyone, but we sure had fun! As you may know most european nations have open borders now, so as we are driving to the French border, Laura says "up here you'll see where there use to be border patrol" as I wonder why there are flashing polezi lights? The police were actually there today and asked us where we were going!!! Laura was in shock, she's been here a year and never been stopped like that! Only for me I'm sure, that way I didn't feel bored! I didn't think to take their picture until after we had drove away, bummer.
We left after the kids were in school, and went straight to Cora, which turned out to be the wrong thing to do! It is similar to a WalMart type store, in the sense that they have food, clothes, housewares, tools, books, etc. It is not similar to WalMart in so much as it does not tout that it is a cheap store and undercut their entire economy, but alas I digress! I was completely happy to just go up and down every isle and spend quite a bit of time deciding what to get. Laura thought I would be helpful to have there in France where I could utilize my many years of private school french to her benefit. Well, my language skills are very rusty...it's always been hard to speak and understand it for me, but it is also hard to remember every word I ever learned all those years ago. This led to us picking up a jam jar and wondering if it was banana jam with vanilla or if that word was something else. "What are these cinnamon bun looking things?" she asked, and my honest response was "House Coco?" I swear to you it was Gateau Cocoa! Maybe it was a famous house recipe for coco buns??? WHAT EVER! When I got to the check out stand I said I looked like an alcoholic with a sweet tooth!! (My purchases there are in the picture. I did get 2 birthday presents for my 1 yr. old niece & nephew, but I can't show that now can I?) When I said this was the wrong place to go 1st, it was because the other stores on our list closed for lunch from 12 to 2pm. Darn it, but we found where they were for our next visit. We drove around and ended up at a store called Gemo where I got another present. It was alot of fun to have someone to go adventuring with. Too bad this school doesn't get out at 4pm, I could have seen alot more then! Oh well, there is always next time. Au revoir mes amis!

Family Sunday

Sunday in Germany is a day reserved to spend time with your family. You see entire families out on walks and bike rides, and extended families are often seen spending a leisurely dinner together for hours at a time. Different events can usually be found to attend as a family, including; festivals, markets and a corn maze. Which is exactly where we went last Sunday! It was a relatively small, a diamond with intersecting lines. But for 12 euro we spent a couple hours there, exploring the maze, playing hide and seek, climbing on the big rocks. They had a little store with pumpkins, artichokes, squash, and homemade items with kaffee und kuchen (coffee and cake). It even has a pick your own flowers area, you just pay by the stalk and put the money in a box. Evidently it is a working farm that opens up a corn maze during September. I found this out when I asked where the toiletten was and was directed into thier home! We got to say hello to their 2 cows, they ran away from us but I bet our English scared them away :)! Getting there was extremely hard, we didn't have an address to type into the GPS, only the 2 towns the farm was between. So we had the GPS guide us to the 1st town, then put the 2nd town into the GPS and started driving. (Our GPS is old and doesn't like to see the car plug, wants to shut off alot, and can't always locate our position right away. So some of our trouble was specific to us!) Sure enough, along this country road we saw a sign, turned right and up a little hill there was a parking area, thank goodness for small favors! When we got in the car to go home, since we felt we had come "the backroads" to get there we decided to use the GPS again. After putting in Home, and selecting the shortest distance vs. the shortest time, we were directed to yet another "backroad" and eventually came out in Landstuhl. They have many autobanns over here, but somehow we always get directed off of it and onto some dinky 1 1/2 lane road (as in 2 cars can BARELY pass each other safely on them) and it takes us around 30 minutes to get somewhere! Eventually I will know quicker better ways just off the top of my head, but until then we will be found on little country roads out on our "sunday drive"!

Homburg Flea Market

The 1st Saturday of every month Homburg, Germany plays host to the largest flea market in this part of Germany. It's published hours start at 8am, but when my friends and I got there at 7:30am people were already set up and parking was already at a minimum! It is held in the area surrounding the Rathaus, in the surrounding streets, parking lots, grass area, you name it! It took us 5 hrs. to walk thru the entire thing. I bought a demi-john with a basket cover that gave it a handle, an antique ladel, an old mail slot for a door that says Briefe (letters), some soccer shin guard covers, and some plastic popcicle molds. I really was looking for kitchen chairs and an entry way table, but was not lucky in that regard. I didn't really like the antique chairs I found, I think I need to go to just the local floh markt for more current chairs. I did find a french antique dealer that had a table for sale. The interesting thing is that I get so use to not really understanding what people are saying in German, that when this guy walked up and started talking to me I was understanding most of what he was saying. It took me a while to figure out that it was french and that's why I understood, but by this point I had a bit of "doe in the headlights" look about me which seemed to be making him lower the price! So I went with it, I didn't say much like I wasn't really understanding, finally showing 2 50's but he said no because it was from the Charlemange era. When I said no thank you in french he did have a bit of a quisical look to him, it was fun to work on my language skills.
I've done that before; while I was driving once I realized I understood the song playing on the radio. I thought "wow, I'm really picking up German quick!" then it dawned on me that it was a French song and I had to come to terms with the fact I am not a language savant! :)
Anyway...back to the flor markt...the best part of it for me, was taking pictures. If I could have walked around and just taken pictures I would have been just as happy! But some people did seem a little wierded out by my picture taking, so I did try to keep it on the down low, and only be noticed when I REALLY wanted the shot! If I had a big fancy camera I probably could have gotten away with it more, but it's hard to look official with my little blue sanyo! I had a really great time, enjoy the pics. I plan on going to local and french flea markets too, so of course more pics will follow!

On the way to the bus stop

I love this flower, I have no idea what it's called, but it's so pretty. I'm sure what the German's call it and what we would call it are 2 different things. It's the prettiest color blue and grows on a bush that's taller than me. Lots of people have them here. But there is a lady that has about 6 of them in her front yard. I've been seeing hers since we got here, and since it's on the way to the bus stop I see them every day now. In fact that's where this picture came from. There has been flowers on them since we got here in June! Can you believe it? I believe I will try to plant one or two here next spring . . . that is if you can tell me what I should ask for!

backerei, bakery...just give me the bread!!!

I've heard all these stories about being at a healthier weight in Europe, you know all the theories about why French women are so damned skinny? Well, it has it's merits, I know I've lost a pound or two with all the walking I do around here (and bike riding in good weather) and you don't really snack just eat during meals. I think because portions are smaller, even food packages are smaller, you monitor how much of something you eat because you don't want to eat a 5 Euro package of cheese in one sitting! But I'm not sure it isn't rendered null and void from the backerei down the strasse. I love sweet bread products, heck ANY bread product! So I've taken it upon myself to try everything they make! I mean why live in Germany if you aren't going to experience it the German way? They make fabulous bread. I read somewhere that most of their breads have a rye base, which is quite interesting since I never buy rye bread in the states. I buy rolls for dinner, bread for lunches, mini pre-baked pizza things, and pastries. Oh my goodness, pastries! I haven't been to France yet, so I'm thinking that the best is yet to come. But German pastries are really good. They are not as sweet as American, and I'm noticing they don't use chocolate in as much things and at 1st that might bother you, but they are so scrumptious you quickly get over the lack of chocolate use. I don't think they put so much sugar in their foods (things like spegetti sauce and the like) because I am finding that I don't crave sugar like I did in the States. Maybe that's the secret, they only eat sugar when they are completely aware of it's presence in the food (i.e: a schoklade dooney vs. a pasta sauce). I don't really know for sure, I just know that I love the bakery!! Come try it for yourself!