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It's hard to be witty and entertaining, especially when you don't go anywhere or do anything other than your normal daily existance. I mean, I really do like to think that I'm a hoot to be around, but in reality . . . when there's nothing going on, there's nothing going on!

On a positvie note: I did submit the above photo to a contest today. It is in the Color, Scenery category. I had a list of 10 I wanted to submit, but getting each packet ready for submission took about an hour and I just don't have that much time to spend on something I want to do, versus have to do!

Now on to the not-so-positive notes:

I did think that we were suppose to meet up with Sweet Pea's girl scout troop today at 9:30am, and it turns out it was 9am! Well ain't that just shite-o-rama...after I had to listen to corn niblet cry about having nothing to wear all morning, and had to threaten to take her out to the car naked.

(How does a 7 year old "have nothing to wear" when her drawers are so packed you can barely open them? I let her buy the clothes she wants, wear the clothes she wants, she's like a 15 yr. old already!)

This is after the 1st meeting they had where I had to work, and didn't understand where to pick her up at, the the J man was at the wrong school and called me saying Sweet Pea wasn't there and that the office said the meeting was canceled! Once my heart returned to normal pounding, her new leader called and gave me the proper meeting place. (Everyone communicates here like you've lived here all ur life and know what the hell is going on!)

I have also packed Sweet Pea's practice soccer clothes on a make-up game day when she should have had her uniform. (I was working yet again, convient hours I work huh?) Instead of driving the 5 min. to the house and then back, the J man just keeps her outta the game.

I can barely get to the school to pick Corn Niblet up and she gets worried waiting, even though I've told her that I'm suppose to get off 15min. after she gets out of school and I am having to leave work 15 minutes early just to get to her school late!

Oh, and let's not forget the yucky dinner I just made tonight. An egg casserole with sausage in it (I hate the flavor of sausage, it coats my mouth with it's yuckiness! Why did I think this would be different?) and a not so good Italian Sausage Soup. No one ate very much. I put the 15 gallon drums, I mean "small" container of leftovers in the refrigerator. I figure I can wait for them to get pushed to the back and forgotten until they are too moldy to actually eat anymore!

And I love the conversations I have . . .
"what do u want to do for Thanksgiving?", says the J man to me.
"Oh, you want to go to London!?!" I respond energetically!
"nah, (while looking at me like my head is spinning around and I'm spewing green vomit) I thought we could invite people over".
Well, I think, that's at least a step in the right entertainment direction.
"OK, we'll have to get new chairs since they are all broken and barely able to stand now. I wouldn't want guests to be the ones they fall apart on!"
Not to worry I think, I can figure out an untraditional menu for Thanksgiving that will make the best of my Recreational Vehicle sized oven.
Then he says ..."I was just thinking that you could get a conversation started about it and it could be at someone else's house".

Yup people, that is the man I chose to marry! I know, I know, I am beaming I'm so proud! Isn't he so generous to want me to start up a conversation with my brand new (price tags still hanging on them) friends that goes something like this:

"So, what time should I bring the turkey to your house for Thanksgiving?"

--cricket sounds--

"WHAT? You want me to bring the yucky jello salad stuff too?"

"As quick as possible"

Well the birthday party has come and gone. It was a success! An art themed party with minimal decorations, cupcakes, ice cream and juice. We played 3 art inspired games;

1) group draw...1st draw an oval and write your name, pass it to the right. They draw the eyes of whomever has thier name on the paper, pass it to the right. They draw the nose, pass it to the right. They draw the mouth...and so on.

2) if you are an artist, and you suddenly loose the use of your arms, what do you do? Draw with your feet of course! We drew a picture using only our feet! (mostly chicken scratchings!)

3) Monet began to loose his sight at the end of his career. So we paired off, blindfolded one partner, gave the other partner an object and told them to describe it to their blind partner well enough for them to draw it. Obviously they were not allowed to say "draw a pine cone", they had to tell them to draw a circle and then cover it with triangles.

Since none of these were games you could "win", I put all the drawings in a bag and pulled 4 of them for prizes. (I know, gasp! How could I single out individual children, how unfair! Oh get over it, everyone was OK because they all got little German school notebooks and sparkly pencils at the end. Don't you remember your childhood? I wasn't permanently scarred from not getting a prize.)

Then there was about 20 minutes of free play (I had blown up 40 balloons, stupid, stupid, stupid!) that was loud and crazy. But all the children were picked up in a timely manner. It was so reminiscent of some of the parties I went to as a kid.

All in all it was a good, quick, cheap -not your party year, but it would be nice to have a reason to have your new friends over and meet their parents- kind of a birthday party. (We do big birthday parties every other year in our family. And sometimes we just ask for food pantry items to donate instead of gifts.) But when you're young, any party is a pretty good one!

So anyway, the reason for this birthday post 2 weeks after the birthday party, is that my present still has not come! If you will remember back some posts, I bought some roller skates via Ebay,um a well known website. I had some trouble getting it to let me purchase something from German sellers, but I finally was able to purchase a pair of skates from someone in Germany (looks like either a sports store, or a pro-seller who specializes in sports stuff). I got a bunch of emails that said blah blah blah and then "thank you". I assumed all went swell.

But still no skates.

German babysitters came over, and they translated the emails for me to make sure he wasn't waiting on something from me. They verified that he was paid, he got my order, and he "will mail it out as quick as possible". . .

As quick as possible, eh? So that means that over 3 weeks later I do not have them as quick as possible? I'm sure the little German man, got my email, put the skates under his arm and started walking to my house...he will get here as quick as possible!

Well, I guess it is hard to get to the post office when it has hours like mine, Monday through Saturday 10:30am - 11:30am!!

I'll let you know when I get them..."as quick as possible!"!

Why can't I have a gardener named Jakob?

THIS is the garden I'm going to plant come spring! I mean, look...it's freezing in the mornings and at night here already, but yet this still looks hearty and orangely pretty.
*note-this picture was taken at 7:30am with a heavy fog and dew levels, so it doesn't have the same effect as when you see it mid-afternoon all sun warmed and vibrant. But use your imagination, or just humor me. And you have to totally ignore the dead one in the lower left hand corner of the picture, and the dead one right in the center of the picture. Just trust me, it looks nice in person!*

And I never see the homeowners out in this yard doing any kind of upkeep, which corresponds nicely to the kind of upkeep they would get in my yard.

I seem to remember some kind of gardening advice (probably from my own [super]mom) that marigolds keep bugs away from other plants. Well, I'm thinking that this many marigolds will keep bugs away from ME and my house! Maybe if encircle the house in a 2 foot area of marigolds I can rid it of all the spiders, gnats, and other miscellaneous bugs that are currently residing with us?

I have never seen marigolds this big and tall before. Granted they are in a raised planter box thing that is these people's front yard, but they are still alarmingly tall and plentiful! And I love how they are varying shades of yellows and oranges.

Do you think marigolds are like hastas, if I go secretly dig some of theirs up during the night and bring them over to my house, will they reproduce? I tried growing a garden from seeds when we 1st got here and failed miserably, it didn't fair too well. Well, maybe the Blumeladen will have really big marigolds to sell me.

OH, oh, oh!! I could plant a 2,000 square foot area of them in our backyard to ward away the bugs, small mammals, and other creepy crawly things! Then I could have beautiful pictures of Sweet Pea and Corn Niblet skipping through the tulips marigolds!


public service announcement -- Blumeladen = Flower Shop.
Just here to inform people, learning's the name of the game!

Sprechen sie Deutsch?

So I was going over the babysitting schedule with the babysitters, and next week the J man will be the 1st one home to relieve them. This will be the 1st time he meets them, and he's been rather partial to getting an American babysitter. So I told the girls that they should just speak German to him.

No English, just keep speaking to him in German!!!

Ha ha ha!

I crack myself up!

It's no wonder that the J man keeps me around!

Waited as long as I could. It's official, I'm not feeling very funny today

So, since I'm not my normal entertaining humorous self today. Even though it's 9:15pm and I'm normally just coming alive now! I thought I would update you all on the babysitter post.

As previously stated, I posted a sign in German asking for a babysitter. I had 4 German teenagers call (and 1 American dad for his American teen from the 1 sign I posted in English).

I met with the 1st two, both of the same name and both wanting to do it together. Which, I would normally be a bit wary of, you know two teens getting engrossed in something they are doing together and forgetting about my kids! But after I met them, I really think that they want to do it together (and share the pay btw, not paying them both 1/2 my pay! I like to feel like the Rockefeller's, but I know deep down that I'm not!) to give each other the confidence they need.

I mean really, everyone that called is so very courageous to call a person who doesn't speak their language and come to my house hoping I'm not some crazy person! I'm not sure I would have done that as a teen. Oh wait, sure I would have. Who am I trying to kid? I would have thought, sure why not, what's the worst that can happen, maybe they won't even hire me. (I never thought about the worst things that could happen, until I had kids! Now that's all I think about! I've turned into my mother, shhhh, don't tell her though!)

Well, one speaks English pretty well and the other is very quite and shy. They both are pretty quiet, the girls said that they used a lot of gestures when I had them come sit for an hour at the house while I was home. But they came on time, and seem eager to come any time I need them. They live just 1 street over and since German schools get out at 12:30-1pm, they are very available!

The other girl was super super quiet/shy. I don't know how much shyness to attribute to their personalities versus how much to contribute to their ESL status! This girl seemed oh so nice, lived a bit further away, but still walkable, had a little bit of a stutter and appeared to speak less English than the pair. (once again, really? or just when she speaks English?) I liked her, but the other girls had younger siblings and cousins they've been around alot. I did tell her I didn't need anyone for a few weeks, 14 days. So then I'll have to call her (assuming the pair works out) and let her know I already have someone.

It seems that Germans don't traditionally use babysitters. I'm assuming the same reasons many of you out there don't use them....they live around extended family and would rather have their kids stay with family rather than teenagers. I would prefer that too, but it is impossible. So, anyway, none of the German's had actual babysitting backgrounds. But neither did I before I had kids and I haven't killed them yet, so here's hoping!

Then I also had another person call, who spoke very good English on the phone, but I told them I had already seen 3 people. I did let her know that she could save my phone number and call me back in 5-6 months to make sure I was happy with them.

I have some times set up for my babysitting pair, and we'll see how it works out. I have big dreams of taking them with us when we travel! We would be able to eat dinner and ride roller coasters as a couple, and have our own personal translators and insider tour guides! (Rockefeller) I'm thinking we could be invited to their family get togethers, we can meet/be introduced to other Germans, and visit each other for many years to come! But for now I'll settle for their parent's comments on Pediatric Dentists, good suggestions where we can eat, and some small German language lessons for me and the kids.

teil zwei [otherwise known as part 2 meat debacle]

I know you were on pins and needles waiting to see how my $4,000 meat purchase turned out. Well...

Did I mention I have to ask how to cook that red meat looking stuff? Yeah, so I have to ask how to cook it and yes most of the time the butcher (american or otherwise it seems) looks at me like my right arm has just fallen off and I'm asking them how to reattach it. I know that look is not meant to be a "don't ask me wierdo look", I'm pretty sure (american or otherwise) it translates to "why are you buying it if you don't know how to cook it crazy lady?".

which i have to slightly agree with her right now, as I sit eating my tofu scramble that I can whip up with no help from anyone and taste way better than any steak. But I did marry someone, and I guess the J man is allowed to have his own likes and dislikes, unless that is I can finally find a way to prove that they are completely ridiculous!

So anyway, the barely English speaking German butcher counter woman, gave me the look. And then, as if to prod her on to an answer, I said "in oven [my fingers drawing a box and then opening the front of the box] or in pan [my hand grabbing my pretend pan and shaking it over a burner]?" It is primitive, but it sure works! "pan" she said, "five, ah...". Flipping my flat hand over and over I completed her sentence by saying "five minutes on each side?" "ja". Wow, that was easy! I'm darned good at this living where I don't understand anything thing!

So I come home hyped up. Quick (albeit expensive) dinner comin' up! I put the things in my cast iron* skillets over a 2 1/2 burner. Yes 2 1/2, they have a dot, a 1, a dot, a 2, a dot, a 3...that's the cooking setting choices you get here at Hotel de Siville. It's very technical stuff, I don't want to load you down with details!

Anyway, I ended up cooking them a bit less than 5 minutes on each side, I think my setting was too hot. And, although they wouldn't win any points on beauty, they were pretty tasty. They seemed more like a roast cut, I probably would have slow cooked them to make them more tender. Live and learn.


* Cast iron skillets really are the bomb. Not only can you put them in the oven, in the campfire, AND on the stove! But you and your family get plenty of iron, take note all you anemic relatives/friends I have out there. I prefer the hand-me-down versions I have from 1900's to the new stuff. [ok, advertising done, stepping off of my soap box right now]

I'm going back to being a vegetarian

I go to the market and stare at all the meat and I don't have a clue what to get or how to prepare it. Now this isn't really much different than in the states. All those years of being a vegetarian, during my key cooking period, has stunted my ability to cook meat. I never know how to cook anything, I usually look up a recipe 1st, then go and get all the ingredients and follow the directions step by step. (Whereas, I make a killer zucchini lasagna by the seat of my pants and can find something to put on a piece of fish in a flash.)

But here, it is compounded by the fact I don't read the meat titles either! So now I pick a random piece of meat and then try to ask the meat counter person how to cook it. It usually works out decent. But then, there is always risk involved in such a laissez faire attitude!

I go to the meat counter, there is some kind of meat slab steak like cut things that look like they have some kind of butter/spinach on them. Well that looks good, I like adding spinach to things. Let's try that I think. So I say "vier" and jab wildly at the glass towards my chosen item. The meat counter woman verifies my crazy jesters with a German word and pointing towards my meat. "Ja" I say in my best German accent with the only word I am truly sure of! She puts four of these steak like things on the weigher and I feel like a success. That is until I get to the checkout counter and think to look at the price. Wholly mother of all that is right with the world!!!!


keep in mind that this in in euro...which, because of reasons that I don't have time to go into here, you have to add 25% to in order to know how much I paid in dollars! Well it's an honest mistake, and next time I will ask how much and hope I understand what they say before I buy something.

Although, at least, the J man can't get mad at me. He did a similar thing when we first got here. We were still in temporary housing on base, and one Sunday he decided to go to the club for the Sunday Brunch. Being the rebels that we are, we don't belong to the club (it's yucky food and we don't ever go so why bother). We ended up paying $75 for the four of us! I said, "eat up kids, we are eating here instead of getting a weeks worth of groceries!". Even my anorexic, self-denying, non-foodie spouse ate more than normal to try to make it worth it.

Oh the learning experiences, creating memories for a lifetime!

I'll show you the end meat product and explain the cooking part in a later post, so look for a teil zwei! (Part two...my goal is to teach everyone German here, so pay attention!)

Learning to shower European style!

I tell you, I often feel like the "stupid American" that I secretly think everyone calls us behind our backs! Even in my own home!

For Example: I had to ask the landlord how to use the plug in the downstairs bathtub, because I couldn't figure out how to get it to plug/unplug to fill up Corn Niblet's bath! He was hysterical (who says Germans aren't comedians?!?) I told him I couldn't figure out how to use it, and he says [as he reaches down and twist the big silver dial on the inside of the tub] you only do this. I was so grateful, and was embarrassed by how simple it was and how I couldn't figure that out on my own, I said thank you about 20 times. In an obviously joking tone he asked what else he could "fix" around the house! Like he was some miracle worker...we all laughed (although I'm sure he might have been half laughing AT me and not WITH me like all you out there claim to be doing!).



And now this: I can't figure out how to shower without having to complete wipe down the entire bathroom when I'm done. I took these pictures so you might understand my dilemma. The shower is only about 2/3rd enclosed. You know that irritating spray of mist that bounces off your body in the shower? Well that goes all over the floor, garbage can, toilet, wall, etc. (Can you see the sparkling pools of water that has gathered in the pictures above?) I realize that with the walls tiled that everything that gets wet is waterproof and it won't harm the bathroom. I'm just basically a lazy person and don't feel like cleaning down the entire bathroom after every single shower! I already do the European conservation thing (dad u'd be so proud!) by turning the water off while soaping up, shaving, etc..then turning it back on to rinse off. It sounds like someone's in there playing with the water, on off on off on off on off on off (does this really conserve water?)



I need answers people. Do I just not know how to shower? Is my body so immense that it displaces an above average amount of water? Should I revert to an extra shower curtain and duck tape? Answers, I need them!

P.S.: Did you notice the "whiteness" of it all??

This is behind the bus stop

This is behind the bus stop, where we catch the bus in the morning.

This is behind the bus stop, where we catch the bus in the morning, where I posted a flier.

This is behind the bus stop, where we catch the bus in the morning, where I posted a flier, in both English & German.

This is behind the bus stop, where we catch the bus in the morning, where I posted a flier, in both English & German, looking for a babysitter.

This is behind the bus stop, where we catch the bus in the morning, where I posted a flier, in both English & German, looking for a babysitter, and got a call.

This is behind the bus stop, where we catch the bus in the morning, where I posted a flier, in both English & German, looking for a babysitter, and got a call from a dad on behalf of his American daughter.

This is behind the bus stop, where we catch the bus in the morning, where I posted a flier, in both English & German, looking for a babysitter, and got a call from a dad on behalf of his American daughter, and then got a call from a German teenager.

This is behind the bus stop, where we catch the bus in the morning, where I posted a flier, in both English & German, looking for a babysitter, and got a call from a dad on behalf of his American daughter, and then got a call from a German teenager, and I called them both back.

This is behind the bus stop, where we catch the bus in the morning, where I posted a flier, in both English & German, looking for a babysitter, and got a call from a dad on behalf of his American daughter, and then got a call from a German teenager, and I called them both back. So now I will meet them both on Friday.

This is behind the bus stop, where we catch the bus in the morning, where I posted a flier, in both English & German, looking for a babysitter, and got a call from a dad on behalf of his American daughter, and then got a call from a German teenager, and I called them both back. So now I will meet them both on Friday, to decide who will work best.

more on this next week...

did i mention someone i work with created the German flier for me? No? Well he did, otherwise it would have probably said something like, stupid american is asking if you can come sit on her baby 2 hours one day!

I LOVE WHITE TILE! - say it with me now...

White tile is lovely. It matches the white walls. It matches any furniture you might own. It keeps rooms looking so bright and cheery, even at night, and I'm assuming even in the dark, dreary, snowy days of winter here! I look around, and although I do think to myself that it does look a little generic with white floors and white walls, I can be happy. I would paint them if I felt it would be worth the hassle. (But you will just have to trust me when I say it's not. Because what will happen is that the J man will be gone, when we must pack up and leave this place, and I will spend 2 weeks painting 8 hours a day by myself! At least I now have the comfort of being 99.9% sure I won't have to add pregnant to that like the 2 times before! This is when you find me crying and cursing color, and swearing that I will NEVER paint a wall again, especially red!)



White tile is lovely. It only takes about 15 minutes with a dust mop to sweep the 1st floor out the front door! I do this just about every morning after the kids are on the bus and on their way to school. The upstairs gets done every other day or two (my theory is outta sight outta mind...so when you stop by to visit and try to head upstairs don't be surprised when I tackle you at the bottom of the stairs claiming that the stairs are broken and we can't use them anymore!).



White tile is lovely. It collects every ounce of dirt on your shoe, every piece of lint that falls off your clothes, every crumb of food that falls from your mouth, every microscopic dust particle that settles from the air, and especially every strand of hair that falls when you brush your hair!




Yup, White tile is just lovely, it has shown me what our family is really like. We evidently are provincial, slobs who wallow in dirt and dust, and let our crumbs fall where they may. We (and when I say we, I actually mean seemingly only me) are losing our hair at such a rapid pace that by this time next year we (me) are counting on being completely bald! My family can collect way more than just dust bunnies . . . in less than one day, we have a colony of rabbits living amoung us!

I am going to invent a tray that you strap on before you come in the door that will hang just off of the floor and go every where you go in the house. That way, at the end of the day, you can just empty your tray into the garbage....and voila! A clean white tile floor!

giggle....giggle....giggle

Ok, I'm emotionally a 12 year old! I just had to show you all the logo for the Kaiserslaughten, Germany futbol (soccer) team. I know, I know..I'm retarded! But it makes me giggle every time! Don't think I didn't have to find out what this sticker meant as soon as I saw it on a car!!

And now you know.

Just here to inform you people.

I'm just saying.